Indecisiveness

Writing

I’m not sure what I’m going to write about today, in all honesty. I’m torn between too many great ideas…or just ideas in general. Cause let’s be honest, a post saying “too much sugar in your coffee can kill you” isn’t exactly what one wants to read. Unless you’re a health fanatic, in which case I admire AND pity you, because you miss out on stuff like this and find it in you to not complain:

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I haven’t decided a name for this post or anything of that sort, but after looking at that beautiful picture, my brain started producing some productive juices, along with my salivary glands. So today, I am going to write about something that has plagued me ever since I was 5 and being forced to chose between the strawberry lollipop and the blueberry one.
indecisiveness

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I think everyone at one point or another has gone through this rather gruesome thinking process.
What should I do?
Is this right?
Is the other one right?
This seems right but what if I’m wrong?
I may regret this
Should I just go for it or no?
It’s torturous. It’s time consuming, it’s annoying,
It’s inevitable
Everyone goes through this, but the thing is, different people have different levels of indecisiveness. It does not plague some as much as it does others.
Strong personalities, with a more solid moral compass, generally don’t face indecisiveness. I’m not saying that they don’t AT ALL, just less frequently than us other unlucky potatoes. Then there are people with a fairly good moral or spiritual compass, who experience it a little more than the former and get by without much psychological damage.
And then there’s people like me.
People that are trapped in this inescapable web of madness. We are plagued, annoyed and frustrated too often for the people around us to bear, let alone us.
I’m not saying that we lack morals or spirituality or anything of that sort, not at all. I actually think that it’s our high regard for both these things that get us into trouble. The fear of regret and the former along with other things, tend to make us re-think even basic decisions.
“Which toffee? Chocolate or raspberry?”
“Man, I haven’t had chocolate in forever, but I do love raspberry, but that one looks better, I haven’t really tried the other one. What if it’s disgusting? Uh..The vendor is looking at me distainfully now..”
At which point we start sweating nervously and just cross out fingers and pick any one.
Personally, my thought before taking any decision now has become ‘fuck it’
And let me tell you something- it works.
Why do you stress yourself out so much? Why are we so afraid of regret? You made a decision, you’ll have to live with it either way and that’s the harsh reality. Now, the question is, do you really want to live in fear all your life? Or do you just want to do something that makes you feel good, disregarding the outcome? I’m not telling you to go completely bonkers and kill that girl that insulted your shoes or whatever, but I’m not saying that you should sit around and brood trying to figure out if you want to say something to her or not.
You don’t have to be so afraid of everything. Do what feels right and try to live without regrets. Think of it this way “hey, I made a decision, it felt good at the time even though things haven’t turned out so great. It’s okay, I made a mistake. It won’t last forever. I’ll just be more careful next time”
BAM. THATS IT.
Thats all there’s to it.
Trust me, any decision you make, right or wrong, will be yours alone. There is no need to regret.
It’ll be over soon.
Unfortunately good, or fortunately bad.
Everything passes.
This shall, too.

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The fault in our stars and Looking for Alaska

Books

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So, some time ago for some godforsaken reason, I decided to order ALL of John Greens books online. Call it boredom, call it curiosity, call it insanity….it was probably a horrible mix of the three, in all honesty. The point is, I ordered them.

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Now, the question was: which one to read first? It was a tie between tfios and lfa because I had heard my friends whine and cry about both in equal parts, so I basically crossed my fingers and asked my brother to choose.
He’s ten.
He’s disinterested.
He’s lazy.
He pointed to one without even looking.
It was the fault in our stars

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Now, the first thing I noticed while reading the book, is that it was-for the average teenage girl- a little different in terms of writing and grammar. New words everywhere and it had a smooth flow. It wasn’t choppy or sudden, you understand what was happening at every step.
It had some beautiful quotes and almost dreamlike dialogues. Let’s also appreciate the fact that John Green knows that F21 has the cutest dresses, yes.

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Now, the second thing I noticed was, that is dint cry when it ended. Im not much of a crier anyways, and I read the book in parts. Along with Greens flowy writing, they all contributed to the lack of waterworks.
Along with one other thing
See, I have this theory, that one of the real reasons that the book turned my friends into waterfalls, is that Augustus(the protagonist) was a gentleman.
*spoiler alert*
And he DIES
Now, if you make a super hot gentleman that spews out almost everything a girl wants to hear with such conviction along with loving a girl so beautifully- completely destroying the female populations ovaries- and then decide to give him cancer and KILL him.
Then I’m sorry, you must understand if instead of their ovaries, they get destroyed instead.
I love John Green, the book has some amazing quotes and a hot protagonist- but it’s not one of the best I’ve read in any case.
It’s a one time read, but since the movie has come out anyways, just stick to that. You’ll understand.

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Now, looking for Alaska.

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I’m not going to write much because…well…there’s nothing much to write about. All I can say is, that it’s blunt. And again, turned my friends into waterworks. Johns got a thing for killing innocent teenagers off with a slight charm. It’s interesting, in a way. It-again- has some amazing quotes, but it is alas-again- a one time read.
Although, I don’t know if you should wait for the movie with this one.

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I’ve only read one other book of his for now, and that’s Will Greyson, Will Greyson. And I can honestly say that I liked it better than the other two. His collaboration with David Lueithan really worked out and it’s a must read for any Green or Luiethan fan.

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Female Foeticide

Writing

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She smiled and danced
A new life inside
Glowing
Happy
Grinning wide
This was it
She had finally arrived
To the point
Where she fulfilled
For what she strived
The days turned to nights
The nights to weeks
The weeks to months
You could see it now
Her ecstasy
Reaching new heights
She ate and stressed
Slept and smiled
In plus sizes now
She dressed
A slight caress
Over the skin
The barrier between her
And her next of kin
The elders were happy
But if there was to be a new heir
Only the doctors could tell
So they took her there
She smiled and waited
Wanting to see
The first glimpse
Of what her child
Would be
Another caress
Over the skin
The barrier between her
And her next of kin
The mechanics worked
She could see it clearly
A girl
How beautiful, she thought
but crushed were the hopes
The rest held so dearly
A girl?
What?
Why?
How?
A pitying look
An outraged cry
Scoundrel
Useless
Curse
Fruitless
The smiles turned cruel
The taunts and jabs
This would not be tolerated
Her fear
Only adding fire to the fuel
This was her child
She knew what they wanted
Her to do
She had to let go
Of the one thing
She had looked forward to
A slight caress
Over the skin
The barrier between her
And her next of kin
‘No’ she whispered
Again and again
A state of shock
Disbelief
Pain
It was to be done
That very day
The doctors paid
A precious life
Would be taken away
She closed off
Dint resist
When they put her under
The last thing she heard
Being a word of encouragement
And a cough
She woke up
Feeling dejected
As dead inside
As the baby
The family had rejected
She never recovered
From that plight
She should have fought for her
With all her might
The world was terrible
And she cried
Again and again
A soft caress
Over the skin
The barrier between her
And where her child
had once been.