Full

Writing

This is just a spur of the moment thing. It’s raw, unedited emotion. It’s not that good, not by any means, but it’s honest. And I hope that more than makes up for it.

***I’m bursting at the seams

I don’t know what to say

What to write

I don’t know what this feeling is

Is this what bliss feels like?

Utter and complete bliss

It’s funny, you know

I never thought I’ll feel this way

Those days

Those days I couldn’t think about much

Those days I couldn’t think beyond 

Or get beyond

Why I existed 

If there was any reason

Any meaning 

And I’ve found it

And I’ve found them

And I’m so full

I’m so

Full

Of love 

Of passion 

Of inspiration 

Where is this coming from

I don’t understand 

Is this what bliss feels like?

I’ve never felt it before

I’m coloured pink

I’m coloured red

I’m shaking and smiling

And laughing 

And my eyes are soft

And my heart turned into mush

Am I still smiling?

I am

It’s a beautiful feeling 

This

This, really is

All the sadness in the world

It hardly seems fair

Why would anyone choose to hate

When this

This

This is how they could feel

This is how they could be

This is the passion and excitement 

And love

That they could live with every day

This

I don’t understand it

Other than the fact that it makes me

So completely 

So fully happy

I don’t know much about it

I’m lucky

I don’t know

Is this what bliss feels like?

It’s a high

It’s addictive 

I never want to come down

I love

I have so much love

To give 

To you

To them

To everyone 

I think I’m crazy

I think I like it

I think you much agree

I don’t know

Is this what bliss feels like?

Because if it is

I don’t want anything else in the world

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Confined

Writing

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Withering and waiting

 I stay awake 

For what?
I don’t know 

Don’t pry 

Go away 

Give me a break 

Is it love? 

Is it true?

 I need some peace

 I don’t know 

What about you? 

But no, 

Don’t answer that 

You wouldn’t know either 

All you’ve ever seen 

All you’ve ever learned 

Is tit for tat 

Brick for stone 

Fire with fire 

But you forget 

Before burning anyone
It’ll burn you, sire 

I don’t know 

But maybe I do 

You think my age
Is a barrier 

Well, maybe its true 

I do know things 

Oh, but darling 

Let this frame not fool you 

I am not limited to..
I don’t know? 

Dresses and rings? 

I don’t need you 

Yes I do 

But will you ever let me think 

Express 

Acknowledge 

Will you?

 I don’t know 

That’s what you think 

Maybe I don’t 

 Because that’s what 

 You expect of me 

Raise me up 

Then push me to the brink 

Of insanity 

Of madness 

Make me hysterical 

Confused 

Filled with sadness 

I’m ‘oh so privileged’ 

My ‘life is complete’ 

But you don’t understand

 I would give it all up 

In a heartbeat 

For what is the point 

Of all these ‘privileges’ 

When I’m still up at night 

My mind and soul 

Trapped in cages. 

I don’t know 

Nothing is wrong 

But nothing is right 

I do not have happiness 

But I do not have plight 

Its an endless struggle 

And I am confined 

I stay up withering and waiting 

For what? 

 I don’t know. 

I’m out of my mind.

Flip side

Writing

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A kiss in the rain 

A laugh in silence 

Water in the desert

 Peace amongst violence 

 A hug in pain 

A smile so foreign 

 Laughter lines amongst wrinkles

 The loss in gain 

A clover within leaves 

 A splash of colour

 A blush with the tears

 Something new to discover

 A friend amongst enemies 

 The moon along the stars 

 The black in white 

Stories behind the scars 

 The lies in the truth 

 The holes in a dress 

 The thorns in a bush 

A saddened cheek to caress

 The beautiful in the ugly 

 The wrong in the right 

 The go in the stop 

The weakness in might 

 The crazy in the sane 

The pretend in true 

The tainted in pure 

The old and the new 

The silver in gold 

 The hate in love 

 The diamond in the coal 

False hopes from above 

The conservative in modern 

The adult once a child 

The wood in metal 

The outrageous in the mild 

The starvation in fullness 

The paper and the stone 

The breath of death 

Flesh and bone

 The right in the left 

The wet in the dry 

The no in the yes 

The agreement in an outraged cry 

Heads and tails

 Sweet and sour 

Dull and bright 

Shorts and veils 

 Now and then 

The give and the take

 Yes, these are the thoughts 

 That keep me awake

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Indecisiveness

Writing

I’m not sure what I’m going to write about today, in all honesty. I’m torn between too many great ideas…or just ideas in general. Cause let’s be honest, a post saying “too much sugar in your coffee can kill you” isn’t exactly what one wants to read. Unless you’re a health fanatic, in which case I admire AND pity you, because you miss out on stuff like this and find it in you to not complain:

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I haven’t decided a name for this post or anything of that sort, but after looking at that beautiful picture, my brain started producing some productive juices, along with my salivary glands. So today, I am going to write about something that has plagued me ever since I was 5 and being forced to chose between the strawberry lollipop and the blueberry one.
indecisiveness

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I think everyone at one point or another has gone through this rather gruesome thinking process.
What should I do?
Is this right?
Is the other one right?
This seems right but what if I’m wrong?
I may regret this
Should I just go for it or no?
It’s torturous. It’s time consuming, it’s annoying,
It’s inevitable
Everyone goes through this, but the thing is, different people have different levels of indecisiveness. It does not plague some as much as it does others.
Strong personalities, with a more solid moral compass, generally don’t face indecisiveness. I’m not saying that they don’t AT ALL, just less frequently than us other unlucky potatoes. Then there are people with a fairly good moral or spiritual compass, who experience it a little more than the former and get by without much psychological damage.
And then there’s people like me.
People that are trapped in this inescapable web of madness. We are plagued, annoyed and frustrated too often for the people around us to bear, let alone us.
I’m not saying that we lack morals or spirituality or anything of that sort, not at all. I actually think that it’s our high regard for both these things that get us into trouble. The fear of regret and the former along with other things, tend to make us re-think even basic decisions.
“Which toffee? Chocolate or raspberry?”
“Man, I haven’t had chocolate in forever, but I do love raspberry, but that one looks better, I haven’t really tried the other one. What if it’s disgusting? Uh..The vendor is looking at me distainfully now..”
At which point we start sweating nervously and just cross out fingers and pick any one.
Personally, my thought before taking any decision now has become ‘fuck it’
And let me tell you something- it works.
Why do you stress yourself out so much? Why are we so afraid of regret? You made a decision, you’ll have to live with it either way and that’s the harsh reality. Now, the question is, do you really want to live in fear all your life? Or do you just want to do something that makes you feel good, disregarding the outcome? I’m not telling you to go completely bonkers and kill that girl that insulted your shoes or whatever, but I’m not saying that you should sit around and brood trying to figure out if you want to say something to her or not.
You don’t have to be so afraid of everything. Do what feels right and try to live without regrets. Think of it this way “hey, I made a decision, it felt good at the time even though things haven’t turned out so great. It’s okay, I made a mistake. It won’t last forever. I’ll just be more careful next time”
BAM. THATS IT.
Thats all there’s to it.
Trust me, any decision you make, right or wrong, will be yours alone. There is no need to regret.
It’ll be over soon.
Unfortunately good, or fortunately bad.
Everything passes.
This shall, too.

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